Sounds from nowhere

"2014"

Date & Time: Wednesday, January 8, 2014, 9:11 PM

Entry:

hey there.
all I could say is that 8 days of 2014, it is already horrible.
too many things is happening in this 8 days.
people who talk behind my back, I wish you can really tell me in the face.
I don't like it when y'all talk bad things behind my back and give me glares.
am I scary? am I a atrocious person? am I that bad?
I do not get why you all are doing this but if you have anything to say about me I suggest you just tell me before I misunderstand you all and so.
as classmates I think we all have to learn to be more honest with one another.
I know it is not easy but in the end, it will be worth it.
being classmates for 2 years (or maybe even more), it is quite important because that is where trust holds.
maybe many hate me but I know nobody will admit.
because nobody will have the courage to do so, even myself.
but for another year, we have to work together, as a class.
working towards academics, life.
we all need to persevere.
I guess saying too much won't help because afterall I deal it all by myself.
because nobody understands, nobody helps, nobody cares, until something BIG happens.
sometimes I wonder if I die would anybody even bother to see me.
perhaps not.

this judgemental world we all live in, the one we all we have to deal.
it is not easy.
just living with a proper life ain't easy.
we all lack needs and we all need help.
we got judged, but anybody at anytime, any place.
this is life.
we can't control what we want and how we are going to live.
but all we need is to persevere, to continue living.
I believe that everybody needs love and care.
because without that, we are like heartless and lifeless people.
to all who hurt me, I thank you for giving me a lesson.
to those who helped me and guided me, I thank you for being there.

"drifting far apart"

Date & Time: Tuesday, October 22, 2013, 9:19 PM

Entry:

it's just another rant.

so .. things went like this.

she misunderstood and had her assumptions.

you rant to me, but afterall, you still let it go.

I'm not trying to say that letting go is not a good choice but I just feel weird.

like everytime you are with her, you change.

as in attitude and your way of act.

the feeling is so weird, I don't even know if I'm jealous or what.

but I always feel so left out whenever you are with her.

our conversations become short.

as short as "hi" and "bye".

and you leave me behind both of you, always.

but why do you do it like this?

I don't like it, I feel lousy for being a horrible friend.

do I deserve to be treated this way?

if yes, please, tell me straight in the face.

I wouldn't want anybody to talk behind my back, calling names.

if you hate me, just tell me.

so I don't have to assume and start getting judged.

I'm scared, do you not know that I'm scared?

of losing friends, being all alone, going through everything.

ALONE.

what else? I've been through so much.

I think I have been really strong.

but you people change me.

it's not the matter of fact where you guys changed me as my appearance and all.

but the way I look at things, how I accept people and anything.

nobody to talk to, nobody who cares.

and lastly, nobody who understands.

I can't talk to anybody, literally, no one.

it's okay, I'm used to feeling helpless.

all alone, drowning myself.

I'm used to it, I AM.

telling myself not to cry because I'm that strong.

ending off with a quote my teacher showed us today.

- The world don't change you, you change the world. -

"it hurts"

Date & Time: Friday, September 27, 2013, 11:21 PM

Entry:

so this is the never-ending rant blog.

okay yay so more things is happening, in school, again.

this happened 2 days ago but was busy with eoys so talking abt it now.

it's a different person, it didn't happened on me but ..

my best friend.

best friend fought with another good friend.

wow, is this a game or what?
like seriously.

just give her a reply la.

not like you will die just by asking right?

then ignore her for what?

make her so sad and annoyed.

what even la sia.

can't you see how fed up she is?

how she rants on twitter?

no ? but I do.

because I care about her more than you.

because she is my best friend.

I know her better than you do and so does she.

you won't know what kind of conversations we have, the things we do together.

we play, we joke, we laugh.

it is saddening to see both of you fight.

it breaks my heart.

everything was okay.

but it turned out this way.

I hate to see people fight.

It's not fun at all.

I could have cried, because she's sad.

and I can't help.

do you know how painful it is to see your best friend feeling so helpless and all you can do is to say "cheer up".

it's hard right?

it's not easy to cheer people.

trying to be encouraging and all sigh.

I always act like I'm very happy and all.

if you listen carefully, my laughs are all fake.

those laughs where I cry, is true.

but those which has the very weird tone..

you get me yeah.

I'm always encouraging people, but inside I'm actually broken.

my heart was aching, so badly.

it hurts, just like a cut.

sometimes I wonder how I have stayed so optimistic.

it's okay, it's a good thing.

"farewell x"

Date & Time: Tuesday, September 17, 2013, 9:54 PM

Entry:

great i'm happy this ended nicely. (;
so you actually asked a classmate because you I didn't reply you.
good job la bro you made me cry.
so that friend of yours which is MY classmate came to me.
wow why are you even so bitchy to do that.
I'm just too dumb because I trust that friend.
to tell her everything, because I thought she was just concerned for me.
but NO , thanks to you idiot.
you make use of me, you left me there telling her everything.
you are so useless, really intentional much slut. -.-
like seriously I felt something fishy so I asked her and she avoided my question.
and that made me feel so horrible and all.
you cheated on me, and betrayed me.
not only you, she too.
you asked me not to blame her, I kept it inside within myself.
and no one else.
do you know how tough it is? to bottle things up being not able to trust anybody?
do you know that feeling? DO YOU ?

if you don't want to hurt anyone or whatever, why would you even have the thought of lying?
like seriously.
does lying help solve problems?
no right no ?
I think that only applies to you where you don't even bother about anything.
that's you, not me.
it's not easy for me to tolerate the shits you dare doing to me.
not only me though, there's many out there but nobody dares to tell.
many of us finds it hard to tell you what we actually think but ...
you just stops everything, literally.
I hate you, for making me in this state.
for making me who I am trying to be.
practically, everything you have caused me to do.
till this friday, it's the due date because of gymnastics ok.

goodbye xx

"go away"

Date & Time: Tuesday, September 10, 2013, 10:22 PM

Entry:

call me a bitch or whatever.

I seriously don't give a fuck ok.

you don't even deserve my concern.

you were being so irresponsible today.

leaving us there waiting and you doing your work.

we could have discussed the whole thing by 3 then you drag until 4.45

think I very free is it huh ?

could have told us earlier right idiot.

wtaf then expect us to wait wait wait.

no need study? no need revise?

then also don't answer our calls and texts, think we can teleport to where you are?

like wth. think we superheroes or are we supposed to read your mind?

are you fucking serious?

can you think of others and not yourself only?

you are not being fair yknow.

you are not the only one in the group okay, and we are not as free as you think we are.

like yolo.

can't you even cooperate with us and just listen to our ideas?

you are not the leader ok.

stop bossing and ordering people around.ou

you need to control , C O N T R O L.

yes do you get what I mean?

nah forget it.

okay since you asked me so much today.

tbvh, I answered you in the face.

it was just that it wasn't obvious, that's all

let me tell you the reason why okay.

you are so annoying and clingy.

like 跟屁虫 do you get it?

you could have kept a distance from me so I won't feel so disgusted.

everytime you talk to me then stand so close for fuck?

I think you are being so les ?

ewww I feel horrible beside you.

I avoided you because of that though.

and I've said that during the prev posts, saying that you like talking in high pitch voice?

did I ? can't rmb but anyway, yeah.

you voice make me feel uneasy and all, it's so fucking annoying.

can you imagine somebody saying "oh fine la fine ignore me la" IN A HIGH AND PARROTY VOICE.

your ears might explode ok.

can you feel how much I have tolerated?

I bet nobody knows.

nvm, sometimes not all things people must know.

it's alright, I'm fine. I'm cool like this.

"s t a p h"

Date & Time: Wednesday, September 4, 2013, 10:00 PM

Entry:

eh bitch stop it la.
very fun is it?
if you think we are a fucking clique please just fuck off ok.
you are so annoying like yolo GET A LIFE.
stop harassing my friends and myself.
you have more friends than any of us yeah.
being so smart -.-
wow okay great.
continue doing that and see if I'll ditch you.
you wait and see ok.
I might explode of anger and just ditch you and nvr talk to you anymore.

you need to fucking control how you are treating people.
and stop screaming and yelling at people like nobody's business.
your pitch is so high I hate it so much.
I would have just slap you.
so annoying urgh

"continue.."

Date & Time: Tuesday, August 27, 2013, 9:47 PM

Entry:

eh like seriously la.

also not our fault right you ownself don't want come with us.

then you a bit also jealous, cb sia.

don't like us say la, we didn't even say we hate you lo.

then you big mouth go spread to your "clique" then expect us to know what you thinking meh ?

walao eh you fucking make no sense ok. -.-

if you asked your clique to come talk to us, then must well just come tell us in the face.

wtf please.

secrets are not meant to be told to so many people ok.

you told my secret, so I won't tell you anything anymore.

and if you think I'm snatching her away, no.

we're good friends from the start ok just look what you are doing.

fine, do whatever you want.

just don't interfere my friendship ok bye