so .. things went like this.

she misunderstood and had her assumptions.

you rant to me, but afterall, you still let it go.

I'm not trying to say that letting go is not a good choice but I just feel weird.

like everytime you are with her, you change.

as in attitude and your way of act.

the feeling is so weird, I don't even know if I'm jealous or what.

but I always feel so left out whenever you are with her.

our conversations become short. 

as short as "hi" and "bye".

and you leave me behind both of you, always.

but why do you do it like this?

I don't like it, I feel lousy for being a horrible friend.

do I deserve to be treated this way?

if yes, please, tell me straight in the face.

I wouldn't want anybody to talk behind my back, calling names.

if you hate me, just tell me.

so I don't have to assume and start getting judged.

I'm scared, do you not know that I'm scared?

of losing friends, being all alone, going through everything.

ALONE.

what else? I've been through so much.

I think I have been really strong.

but you people change me.

it's not the matter of fact where you guys changed me as my appearance and all.

but the way I look at things, how I accept people and anything.

nobody to talk to, nobody who cares.

and lastly, nobody who understands.

I can't talk to anybody, literally, no one.

it's okay, I'm used to feeling helpless.

all alone, drowning myself. 

I'm used to it, I AM.

telling myself not to cry because I'm that strong.

ending off with a quote my teacher showed us today.

- The world don't change you, you change the world. -